Postpartum Mental Health

Myths, Truths, and What We Must Talk About

As a psychotherapist supporting parents in the perinatal period, I’ve heard it all—the well-meaning advice, the one-size-fits-all platitudes, and the internal struggles masked behind smiles. Postpartum is a profound transformation, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and relationally.

Yet despite increased awareness, too many people still suffer in silence due to myths that romanticize or oversimplify this intense stage of life. Let’s change that. Below are some of the most common myths.

 

Myth: “It’s just the baby blues—it’ll pass.”

Truth: While up to 80% of new mothers experience the “baby blues” in the first two weeks postpartum, more severe and longer-lasting symptoms may point to postpartum depression or anxiety. These are real and treatable conditions—not something to “just push through.” Early support makes a difference.

 

Myth: “You are going to love being a mom.”

Truth: You can love your baby and still find motherhood difficult. It’s not always a joyful journey—sometimes it’s messy, lonely, and overwhelming. Love and struggle can coexist.

 

Myth: “Soak it all in—it goes by fast.”

Truth: You don’t need to savor every second. Some moments are beautiful; others are exhausting or painful. It’s okay not to enjoy all of it. Presence doesn’t require perfection.

 

Myth: “Postpartum depression only affects women.”

Truth: All parents can experience postpartum mental health challenges, including fathers and non-birthing partners. Hormonal shifts, identity changes, and the stress of new parenthood affect everyone.

 

Myth: “You’ll be exhausted 24/7.”

Truth: Yes, fatigue is part of this stage—but so is recovery and rest. Seek support, take turns with your partner if possible, and accept help. You deserve care too.

 

Myth: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”

Truth: It’s not always that simple. Sometimes those moments are your only chance to eat, shower, or simply exist in quiet. If possible, delegate, rest in shifts, and don’t guilt yourself for not napping on cue.

 

Myth: “Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful.”

Truth: It can be—but it can also be painful, frustrating, and emotionally draining. Learning to breastfeed often requires support and patience. Ask yourself: Am I okay right now? Is this working for me and my mental health?

 

Myth: “At least you have a healthy baby.”

Truth: Gratitude and grief can coexist. Yes, having a healthy baby is a blessing—but you are allowed to mourn the birth you didn’t get, the self you’ve lost, or the identity shift that’s left you raw.

 

Myth: “A good mom always puts the baby first.”

Truth: A good mom takes care of herself too. Self-neglect doesn’t equal love. Your child benefits when you are resourced, rested, and emotionally supported.

 

Myth: “Trust your instincts—you’ll just know.”

Truth: Sometimes you won’t know. That doesn’t make you broken—it makes you new at this. Seek out reliable information, ask questions, and find guidance. You don’t have to know everything.

 

Myth: “It takes a village.”

Truth: Yes, but building that village takes time—and sometimes loss. Friendships shift. Some people drift away. That’s part of this life stage too. If you haven’t found your village yet, you’re not alone—and you are still doing an incredible job.

 

Myth: “Postpartum depression will go away on its own.”

Truth: Without support, postpartum mood disorders can linger. The sooner you seek help, the better your recovery. Therapy, medication, support groups—these are all valid tools.

 

Myth: “Mothers with PPD might harm their babies.”

Truth: Intrusive thoughts can occur, but they’re usually unwanted and distressing, and are not acted on. Postpartum psychosis—a rare and serious condition—is different and requires urgent medical care. Don’t be afraid to speak up about your thoughts.

 

Myth: “Crying is the main symptom of PPD.”

Truth: PPD can show up as anger, numbness, anxiety, trouble sleeping—even when the baby sleeps—or loss of interest in things you once enjoyed. It looks different in every person.

 

Myth: “Back in my day, we did things this way… I did it to you and look how healthy you are.”

Truth: Our parents did their best with what they knew—and so are we. But science evolves. What we know now can help prevent risks, like suffocation from crib bumpers, unsafe sleep practices, weaning before a baby’s system is ready, introducing salt before 1 year old, and introducing screens or sugar before 2 years old. Using updated, evidence-based care isn’t disrespectful—it’s informed parenting.

 

Postpartum is not just a phase—it’s a seismic shift in your identity, your relationships, and your nervous system. The best gift we can give new parents is space for their full emotional experience—not just the curated joy.

If you’re reading this and it resonates, please know that needing help is not weakness. It’s wisdom. You are not failing. You are adjusting, learning, and healing.

And you are not alone.

Resources:

https://health.sunnybrook.ca/myths-postpartum-depression-pregnancy/

https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/mental-illness-and-addiction-index/postpartum-depression

 

Samara Tomaz Araújo Damasceno

Psicoterapeuta registrado (qualificado) no College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario – 16111

ID de membro profissional da Associação Canadense de Aconselhamento e Psicoterapeuta – 11248350