Creating a Self-Soothing Toolkit for Emotional Regulation

In moments of emotional overwhelm, stress, or anxiety, it’s easy to feel helpless or disconnected. While therapy offers essential support and insight, it’s also important for clients to develop personal tools they can turn to between sessions. A self-soothing toolkit is one such resource—something tangible and intentional that supports emotional regulation and grounding.

A self-soothing toolkit is a personalized collection of items, practices, and strategies that help calm the mind and body. It engages the five senses and draws on techniques from mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and somatic practices.

At its core, a self-soothing toolkit is a collection of calming items and strategies that engage the five senses. These tools help regulate the nervous system, ease distress, and reconnect us to the present moment. The process of building a toolkit is personal and reflective—what soothes one person may not work for another. Some individuals find relief through touch, like holding a soft object or using a weighted blanket. Others may respond better to sound, such as calming music, a familiar voice recording, or a short breathing exercise. Scent can also be powerful—lavender oil, herbal teas, or a favorite lotion can evoke comfort almost instantly.

How to Build Your Self-Soothing Toolkit?

1. Identify Your Needs

Before selecting items, take a moment to reflect:

– What tends to overwhelm you?

– What soothes you—physically, emotionally, spiritually?

– Do you respond better to touch, sound, movement, or imagery?

2. Engage the Five Senses

Select items that stimulate or comfort each of the senses. Here are some examples:

 

• Touch: Soft blanket, stress ball, putty, weighted lap pad, warm bath or heating pad

 

• Sight: Photos of loved ones, nature scenes, calming colors, a small journal with affirmations or inspiring quotes.

 

• Sound: Headphones with calming playlists, sound machine, singing bowl, recorded guided meditations or breathing exercises

 

• Smell: Essential oils (lavender, peppermint, eucalyptus), a favorite scented lotion or candle

 

• Taste: Herbal tea, mints, dark chocolate, chewing gum for sensory grounding

 

3. Include Coping Practices

Tools aren’t only physical—your toolkit can include strategies like:

– Breathing techniques (e.g., 4-7-8 breathing, box breathing, Diaphragmatic Breathing)

– Progressive muscle relaxation

– A written list of grounding exercises (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 technique)

– Body mapping

– Distraction activities (puzzles, coloring, a favorite book)

4. Make It Accessible

What matters most is accessibility. Store your toolkit in a dedicated space—this could be a box, bag, drawer or even a digital folder on your phone with apps, photos, and audio files. The goal is easy access during distress, discouraged, or emotionally stuck—those moments when you’re not sure what else to do.

Example: A Sample Toolkit

• A small lavender rollerball for calming scent
• Noise-canceling earbuds with a “comfort playlist”
• A weighted eye mask for grounding
• A photo of their dog and a handwritten note from a friend
• A small journal for expressive writing
• A list of “10 things I’ve survived” as a resilience reminder

 

The beauty of a self-soothing toolkit is that it blends the physical and the emotional. Alongside sensory items, it’s helpful to include written reminders of inner strength—like a note to yourself, an encouraging quote, or a short list of grounding techniques. Many people benefit from keeping a small notebook for expressive writing or gratitude lists. A photo of a loved one, a favorite book, or a symbolic object can also bring reassurance in difficult times.

The benefits of having a self-soothing toolkit are far-reaching. It supports emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and offers a sense of control when things feel uncertain. Over time, using it consistently can increase self-awareness and build confidence in your ability to care for your own emotional needs.

Creating a self-soothing toolkit is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t just something that happens in therapy sessions—it’s something you can carry with you, literally and emotionally. If you’re a therapist, consider inviting your clients to begin building one as part of their journey toward resilience. And if you’re doing this for yourself, remember: you deserve comfort, and you have the capacity to offer it to yourself.

 

Samara Tomaz Araujo Damasceno

Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) at College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario – 16111

Professional Member ID at Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapist Association – 11248350